5 Rules of Engagement for Productive Political Discourse

For anyone who wants to engage in emotionally charged political dialogue, I have fortunately received training in political communication from actual political communications professionals. The most helpful rules of engagement as I’ve gleaned are as follows: 

1) Make the other person feel heard and understood (the subtext of this is to actually listen and comprehend) 

2) Avoid the words “but” “however” and “actually”—these words set off alarms in people’s brains and they wind up focusing on the simple fact that you are disagreeing with them rather than your substantive point

3) Never be defensive of your own point of view. Employ the “I feel” strategy—no one can refute your feelings (though they may try, this is called “gaslighting”)

4) Never let anyone believe you think they are wrong, just that you think differently; show that you understand the nuances of the situation—it’s even better if you can learn to see the world in this way anyway

5) Empathy and compassion are the key. Be productive. Be thoughtful. You are afraid and emotionally charged for real reasons, but if you want to be heard by people who don’t share your beliefs, don’t let that control your speech or writing.

Obama is really good at this, of course—watch some YouTube videos of him at town halls. This is a long game, folks. Let’s shatter this echo chamber. <3